perchance to dream

It’s odd, when the bee fields pattern came out, I was entranced. I haven’t yet ever knit a shawl, and yet. And then when the kit was announced in the buckwheat honey colorway, I was horribly horribly tempted.

I wanted it so badly that I kept thinking about it day and night. You know how that goes.

I very nearly went and bought the kit even though really, no, I shouldn’t. There were things like “a budget, have you heard of that?” to consider. And then the “you have yarn for Icarus and have you knit that yet? No, you haven’t!” thing to concede. And so I didn’t. I didn’t buy the kit. Even though, oddly for me, I badly wanted a shawl that was to be knit in yellow.

I hate yellow.

I hate yellow only slightly less than orange.

Which is not saying much, perhaps, because ordinarily? I rilly rilly hate orange.

But….. this… this one I loved. It was a honey gold kind of yellow, something that I associate with fall. The kind of color that looks good with corduroy and denim. The sort of shade that just bespeaks the coming of one of the best times of the year.

Crunching leaves and clogs and handknit socks and…. this. This shawl draped over my shoulders, atop a corduroy jacket worn with jeans. I could just see it in my mind’s eye, this sublime bit of perfection. Of rightness.

Me. Someone who doesn’t ordinarily think about shawls that way. The only other shawl I ever loved before this bit of knitseizing was Icarus, and even then… I didn’t rush to knit it, did I? (Granted, I was sick forfreakingever, but still.)

The theme of the shawl didn’t grab me at all, I don’t think about bees one way or another. What I loved was the undulating edge on the outside, the swirling vertical lines of the lower pattern, and how the shawl was divided into sections. I liked how it all meshed together. I just did. Not so simple as Icarus, which I love for its simplicity, but definitely…. cohesive.

It just works.

And I wanted it.

Thus, the day I won Cara’s contest was…. a very very very very very very very happy day. To put it mildly.

Because my dream was being realized.

I just received the yarn and the pattern, and I must tell you: my love remains true.

In a world where knitters must by necessity be fickle and ever distracted by new patterns, I think it’s a true gift, this singular fascination with this shawl.

And so I must and shall cast on for the bee fields shawl now. I have no intention of it being my exclusive project, and as such, I will finish it when I do, and that’s okay. I plan to love knitting this project (if that makes sense) and that means knitting it when I feel my best, and putting it down when I need to.

Because before the wearing comes the process, and I don’t think this one should be hurried. I’ve spent six weeks (an eternity for a knitter, don’t you think?) loving it in my mind’s eye, and I look forward to loving it on my needles.